Is home still home?

I have been in Nebraska since Saturday. The state motto, which a friends’ husband is fond of reminding me is— Nebraska…Welcome to the Good Life. I have to say, after having been away from the state of my birth for the last two years, (minimal trips home- but the trips home were of length) there was great nostalgia driving me from Omaha to North Platte. The Great Plains that sweep through the entire state were incredibly green. One could even venture to use a word such as verdant, or lush. Nebraska had gotten rain over the last two days and there was minor flooding throughout the state. I was able to stop and visit my dear friend, Jose for a couple of hours. The time away from Nebraska from the family and friends that have been so formative in my years growing as a woman of faith has been challenging.
What happens to a person when the support system that has been forming for years is taken away? But not really taken away, so much as removed by choice. I chose to move away. I chose the location of Minnesota, and I chose to participate in a Master’s program lasting three years.
The last couple of days I feel that I have been a bit of a pain to my family and friends. I have been asking tons of provoking questions, and I feel that there is some frustration as I continue to question, and frame questions with words that have been used in my education for the last couple of years. I have come to a level of expectation about how deep my conversations should be, and the topics that the conversations cover are varied, generally about as varied as the people involved in the conversations. It would seem that my vocabulary has changed, and I have stepped outside the rhythm of the natural flow of my family as a result of my time away.
So, as a result I have to wonder then if others go through this adjustment of time and rhythm with their families? The measure of and value of adaptability I think are more than just great indicators of family. How much do family dynamics affect our continued growth? As we remain a part of our birth family, and grow older each year, how readily do our expectations change to note the change and formation in our selves?

Movin' On...

I was thinking last night about the profound effect that moving can play in the lives of people. I am leaving Collegeville for the summer on Saturday morning. This will be the first time that I have left the state for longer than 3 weeks at a time. I will be gone all summer. It is an exciting time, and also a time that can potentially be filled with incredible learning. I continue to grow in my excitement for my CPE expereince. I am intrigued greatly by the union that I will be working for. I am anxious as well to learn as much as possible about the Austin area.

My Summer...

I found out that I will be spending my summer in Austin, Texas (a place where I have never been) working with the SEIU organization. Wahooo!
Anyone been there? I would love to hear fun to see places and hear great stories!

Almost at the end...for this semester

Picture: me, Fr. Allan Bouley,OSB, Laura Kelly Fanucci

My academic year is coming to an end, and that is bringing its own sense of relief, and anxiety as well. I remember when I began my program at St. John's University. I was so excited to begin the MDIV program. I had no idea what was coming up, and was ready to go! I had no idea that the men and women that I would meet are just phenomenal, and that they would become my deepest friends and biggest cheerleaders and advocates. It has not always been fun and easy, there have been trials that have certainly challenged me and I would not have made it through these times had it not been for these friends, their prayers, my family, and my place with in the community of believers and love in God.

I took my final for Fr. Allan Bouley, OSB. He is a fantastic instructor who was in Rome, Italy during the Second Vatican Council. He did a wonderful job of blending the historical elements of the council, the pastoral ideas, and the liturgical elements that we find within our church. Sometimes the Rites can be a bit confusing, but Fr. Allan did a great job of making sure that we knew the historical elements, and understood some reasons for how these Rites are best expressed within our church community.

I don't know yet where I will be placed for my summer internship-CPE experience. I am looking forward though to vacation in New York as my family gathers to celebrate my brother's graduation.

Have a great week, I will do better with my posting in the weeks to come.

The Trials and Tribulations of a Theologist...

Yes, that is right- I said Theologist. My mouth was working faster than my brain yesterday in class and meant to say Theologian- but out came Theologist! Not my finest moment. C'est la vie.

I feel like I am in a bit of a standstill right now. I am anxiously awaiting and praying about where I will be sent this summer for my internship- and would have like to know yesterday. I have a friend who is involved in a painful situation right now which sends me back to revisit my own past. Yet, there seems to be a major difference in my response today, and what my response was a couple of years ago.

I would say that these situations and my own reactions allow for growth, and might even point to metaphorical allusions of spring--but snow is once again in the forecast for the weekend here in Minnesota. So forget it! I am boycotting until the sun is out once again- and Ican frolick once more in the wood by Lake Sagatagan...

Today I gave the reflection at mid-day prayer. My post this week, is the reflection:
It is based on the pericope John 13:16-20.



“ I am telling you before it happens, so that when it happens you might believe.”

What does it mean to believe? This week, I would venture a guess that many students are believing that this week will never end, and yet, there still is not enough time before they submit their questions and answers for comps. Others believe that I will once again get sucked into the abyss of watching evangelists on television sometimes!

Is belief something like the snow that blanketed our world last week, that was thick, heavy, and quick to melt and saturate the earth with an abundance of moisture? Does belief cover and protect us with the intention of allowing for personal growth? Is the purpose of belief meant to give us time to put words around the metaphors that sometimes seem inadequate?

I decided to come up with a list of belief statements- see what you think, and if you can identify with any of the statements:

I believe very firmly that the 6 hour A &E version of Pride and Prejudice featuring Colin Firth is MUCH better than the 2 hour version!
I believe in the healing power of chocolate and tears.
I believe that the sun will rise tomorrow, after it has set today.
I believe that community relationship demands personal transformation.
I believe that in September Lake Sagatagan will begin to transform again.
I believe that coffee will continue to greet me every morning…when I remember to make it.
I believe …
I believe that my tax refund will not come as soon as I want it.
I believe that my parents will continue to tell me how proud of me they are regardless of how lost or overwhelmed I may feel.
I believe that my friends are the best in the world.
I believe that Harry Potter will over come Voldemort!
I believe …

Is it enough for me to say that I believe? Kathleen Norris, in her book Amazing Grace defines belief as “giving one’s heart to.” Who or to what have I given my heart to that illustrates my belief? I moved from Nebraska to Minnestoa because I believe so firmly in God, and what is being done in the name of God here in the School of Theology. The question then becomes: is reading, writing and studying theology everyday enough to elicit a claim of belief? What does belief lead us to with our work? How do our actions lead us? As a community of believers, dedicated to carrying out the Gospel mission could it really be as simple as:

We believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.

We believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come again to judge the living and the dead.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.
AMEN.

April's eventualities...

Metanoia, change, conversion... what does change mean in my life? How do I experience change? I forget some times about what April signifies in my life. I have come to know so many great and wonderful people in my life. April I find is a time that I seem to be most open to forging new relationships, and also seem most willing to begin to negotiate the hard pace of saying goodbyes. Life will continue to change drastically-yet not uexpectedly however. Kristi, my roommate will graduate and find a fantastic job. Many of the people that I began the degree program with will be graduating as well, Nick, Nick, Jigga, Lauren, Timothy, Paul, Judy, just to name some. These people are all moving on to the next phase and beginning new endevors. It is certainly an exciting time. John Mark, is getting ready to graduate and move to Benini, Africa to begin working for the Peace Corp in July.

Metanoia, change, conversion, these words all bring about the reminder that we as children of God are called to bring about this change. Conversion is to be a part of our daily life. I saw great hope and conversion this week throughout the world as I saw people protesting the cruelties raged against the people of Tibet, and those without power in China. I find all of the protests incredibly inspiring. I find that when I sit back and refuse to allow myself to participate in the life around me, I get stifled, depressed, distracted. When I do participate, I am invigorated, energized, and ready to be the change I demand!

Enjoy the day- enjoy the thoughts- demand the change!