I have been in Nebraska since Saturday. The state motto, which a friends’ husband is fond of reminding me is— Nebraska…Welcome to the Good Life. I have to say, after having been away from the state of my birth for the last two years, (minimal trips home- but the trips home were of length) there was great nostalgia driving me from Omaha to North Platte. The Great Plains that sweep through the entire state were incredibly green. One could even venture to use a word such as verdant, or lush. Nebraska had gotten rain over the last two days and there was minor flooding throughout the state. I was able to stop and visit my dear friend, Jose for a couple of hours. The time away from Nebraska from the family and friends that have been so formative in my years growing as a woman of faith has been challenging.
What happens to a person when the support system that has been forming for years is taken away? But not really taken away, so much as removed by choice. I chose to move away. I chose the location of Minnesota, and I chose to participate in a Master’s program lasting three years.
The last couple of days I feel that I have been a bit of a pain to my family and friends. I have been asking tons of provoking questions, and I feel that there is some frustration as I continue to question, and frame questions with words that have been used in my education for the last couple of years. I have come to a level of expectation about how deep my conversations should be, and the topics that the conversations cover are varied, generally about as varied as the people involved in the conversations. It would seem that my vocabulary has changed, and I have stepped outside the rhythm of the natural flow of my family as a result of my time away.
So, as a result I have to wonder then if others go through this adjustment of time and rhythm with their families? The measure of and value of adaptability I think are more than just great indicators of family. How much do family dynamics affect our continued growth? As we remain a part of our birth family, and grow older each year, how readily do our expectations change to note the change and formation in our selves?
About Me
- Genevieve
- I am a woman who is trying to continue to learn how to be a better person. The purpose of this blog is to help me to articulate my personal response to the world. This blog will allow for reflection, insight, and authentic understanding.
2 comments:
Great questions, dearest.
For my part I've come to the recognition that my family and I are on different wavelengths in terms of "faith-speak." In fact, as years pass it becomes clear that all the members of my family (myself included) are in different places in our journeys. I do have a different vocabulary than my fam, but that just means they have a different vocab than mine. Sometimes it overlaps. Didn't your uncle talk about the theologian's task as one of translation? I avoid jargon when I can and try to relate my own personal nuggets of transformation via the riches I've encountered liturgically--bread, water, oil, wine, fire, air, incense, gestured/ing bodies, the kiss of peace. My fam sees me in a new way, and perhaps that enriches their faith. I dunno. But I know that paying attention to them enriches my faith, because I see real people who don't care much about academic theology living lives of faith and hope in their own ways. And that's reassuring.
I just started reading something today that you might enjoy: _In Her Own Rite_ by Marjorie Proctor Smith. If you can get your hands on it, let me know what you think.
Love.
I agree completely that it is always a challenge to return to one's family of origin as an adult - even for short periods of time like holidays and vacations. We have such great expectations of our parents and family members - we have learned to live with their quirks and faults, and we think we have them figured out. But we are always changing, as are they, and this brings challenges that can seem unique to the family dynamic, unlike friendships with one's peers where there is a sense that we are growing together.
I agree with m.k.w. that the vocabulary changes - especially as we have embarked on this journey of theological education and can now name aspects of our faith and church that other people who share our faith cannot yet name. Yet I find it more challenging to recognize that my understanding of the Catholic tradition is very different from the Catholic Church my parents know and love. I suppose this comes with getting "ruined for Christ" and social justice, but I struggle a lot with how the notions of social justice don't seem to enter in at all to my family's understanding of Christianity.
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