continuing...?

The Abbey Bell Banner on a Sunday morning after a BEAUTIFUL rain!

Well, I have settled back into my own regime. I love change, crave diversity and still would like to some sense of consistency with the change as well. Many people know that I love movies (that is a bit of an understatement), and since I was on the move most of the summer I think I only watched 3 movies on DVD. I went to the theatre twice. In an effort to regain a sense of normalcy I have been constructively procrastinating all weekend. I went and rented 6- yes, that is right, six movies. All were great choices, and their variety was astounding. I picked out two movies with subtitles-Spanish. Almost Black, Dark Blue is a great movie-I highly recommend it!

So, while I am certainly settling back into life here in Minnesota, I am also trying to figure it all out. In a previous post I wrote about my need to maintain some of the urgency and desire to continue working in the field of worker justice. I would most likely qualify this as a call- but there is still a need to discern, set some perimeters, and to also be fully present and engaged in my life here in Minnesota. One way that I am able to do this, well continue this trend is that yesterday, before I went to the movie store, I went to the Farmer’s Market here in St. Joe.

It seems that most of my final year will continue to be balancing who I am with the reality of any choices, decisions I will be making. In order to do this, apparently I will need to rearrange and prioritize my goals.

Quote/Question

“Do you really have to be the ice queen intellectual or the slut whore? Isn’t there some way to be both?” ~Susan Sarandon

I came across this quote from my daily calendar on May 14. I have been chewing on this statement all summer and thinking about how it applies to my life. I have written about my personal transformation over the last few years. This also includes my view of sexuality, and also the importance that we place on sex. When there are so many difficult situations that are real in our world why does it still seem that sex is the number one sin that we focus on? I think it is far more scandalous that employers are not meeting the needs of their employees; that children are going to bed with empty stomachs; that there is still not a cure for the cancers that ravage our populations.

The statement poses a dynamic of what is potentially viewed as opposites. If I conclude that opposites still do attract, then wouldn’t it make sense that these two realities of personhood can exist in one person/woman? I have read this dichotomy in romance novels (when I was reading them instead of reading about Trinitarian relationship, and Papal Encyclicals). I would then venture that if this situation is being written about in popular romance novels (I am specifically thinking of Nora Roberts- one of my favs.), then there is truth to the situation. As there is nothing really new presented into these books- and are more of an escape from reality for the reader, I wonder what reality is the reader escaping from? Is the Intellectual ice queen tired from the reality of rigors of the mind, and is the slut whore tired of the reality of rigors of the body? Or is the escape something else and the blend of these two personalities something to escape to? I think that there is a way to blend both, but I also think that society is still intimidated by women who are in full possession of their mind and sexuality for the most part. This is nothing new, and women add to the problem by playing one part over the other and not being fully engaged in all that the world calls us to. Balance and moderation are key I think. What do you think?

All is well that ends well...

I didn’t get arrested…
Starting again at some level is not a new experience for me. The past few years in my life I recognize my desire to start again, to begin again to undergo metanoia. Change in life scares some people. Heights scare me. I like to think that I am open to more change today than I have been in the past- though I don’t think I have ever shied away from change. I am beginning to transition back into life away from Phoenix. I am back in Chicago for debriefing until Friday.
My last weekend was great—but also brought up new understandings once again. I went with J and his partner M to Tucson for the night on Saturday. We viewed Karchner Caverns. The Caves are a relatively new discovery. They have been opened to public viewing since 1999. It was an intense viewing-magnificent. I have never been inside a cave like that before and was stunned by the depth of the cave, the colors, and the beauty. Why is it that as humans we tend to just look at the surface and see beauty there and hesitate to examine below surfaces? Is there an ingrained need to just understand at face value? How can we continue to challenge ourselves to look below- or even beyond?
We woke up on Sunday and decided to go to Mexico- Rocky Point on the Gulf of California. It was the first time I have ever swam in an ocean. It was absolutely gorgeous and awe inspiring. J and M were so much fun! It was a great time, and we all had great food. They treated me to a real Mexican Raspado (it is like a snow cone on steroids). The drive back to the states was also incredible because the beauty of the mountains which was fantastic- and the fact that they were surrounded by cactus is still phenomenal to me.
We pulled up to the border and began our wait to cross back into the United States. When we finally got to the person who was checking ID’s she asked for ours, we handed ours to her. All three of us had our Driver’s Licenses. Our conversation with her was strained as she immediately became defensive. “Where are you passports?” “Oh” I said, “I don’t have mine.” “Well, how do I know that you are a citizen?” was her response. “You realize that you are now a registered non-compliant citizen now!” All I could think was, “Well, that will suffice for now.”
So, jokingly my goal has been to get arrested. I tease about this desire-I think mostly because of the notion of civil disobedience. What a message about what I believe that I would feel so strongly on an issue, that I would be willing to spend time in jail. Well, it seems that me being a non-compliant citizen is as good as it is going to get for me right now. What I did walk away from this experience with was more questions about immigration issues in the United States. People want to come to the United States? Great- let them come in! There is plenty of room for everyone. These are the principles this country was founded upon. One of the biggest arguments I have heard was about the number of criminals that came into the United States. We have always had criminals, crime was not a disease that was brought here by others- we are humans with the ability to make choices, and people have always made different choices- it has nothing to do with who is allowed to be a member of a specific society.
I am now in Chicago for the de-briefing segment of the summer. Interestingly enough, while I appreciate this opportunity to debrief, I feel that I will be debriefing for the next year. We talked today about what we can do for ourselves, what will be important to maintain the ferocity of the experiences of the summer. While this summer shared moments of fun and frustration, the internal transformation that I underwent was the most significant outcome.
I had my laughs, tears, shared frustrations. All in all it was just another summer- THAT ROCKED!

Time is marching on...

The pictures are from this morning. On our way to the picket line. Walking the picket line. The group of workers that I spent the summer with including my supervisor's son. Me, after the picket line.

“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch—what makes you go beyond the norm.” ~Cicely Tyson

This was the quote from my daily calendar. Today was an incredible day. I went to the picket line with the workers I have been with all summer and the painters. It was a marked difference between the picket line in Chicago when we marched around the block, to today's march with just a small tribe of men, one woman, and one child marching for better working conditions for painters. Most of the chants were in Spanish, though some were in English. It was a very different, but much more intimate in feeling. I was much more connected to these men. They have seen me all summer going into the offices and have been working with me.

I have faced many challenges this summer, most significantly was a language barrier. I began the summer struggling to understand. My first day, I remember that F. my supervisor did not speak to me at all in English. I knew he could speak, but he told me through another co-worker's translation that he wanted to make sure that I learned Spanish, and so would only speak Spanish to me. His insistence changed however when he learned that I was here to learn from him, from this experience, and that I really did want to learn Spanish. I hope that I can continue to learn this language as I get back into the swing of school.

One of the starker realities that I have continued to encounter over and over again is being the “token”. I have told the workers that it doesn’t bother me on their behalf to walk into a building and to be treated a certain way by the professionals that we ask to speak with. What I find disturbing by this “tokenistic” trend is what this says about the Anglo community. Is this community that I have grown up in so afraid something different- of people who are different that we cannot acknowledge our commonalities? While I do recognize that this does not affect just the Anglo community, I have only witnessed this in this context. I guess the bottom line for me is the overwhelming disappointment of what this means for humanity.

I have two more work days here in Phoenix. I am facing the very real problem of trying to remain affected by these circumstances when I will be living 1725 miles away or roughly 26 hours. Is out of sight really out of mind? Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

Tomorrow...updates....

My week is wrapping up very quickly. Due to poor timing, since every single person in the greater Phoenix area seems to go on vacation during the summer, we were unable to secure enough people to go on our delegation for the pray in tomorrow afternoon. Having said that, I will be participating at the picket line tomorrow with the other workers. We are going to show our support with some other workers who are on strike. They are painters. Their claims of injustice are just as horrific as the GWE workers.
As I look back to this adventure-this time in my life I do wonder how I got here. I don’t think that this occurred by accident-rather, I think it was through very deliberate choices that I made in my life. I think that I can look very specifically to the time right after my divorce as the time where I began to live with deliberate existence. I became much more aware of political scene, what I eat, what I buy and how I try to engage in the world around me.
As I went through my childhood I heard from my parents over and over that they just wanted me to be happy. At the retreat that I went to last weekend, I was reminded about the importance of words. There is a something more important than being happy-joyous is a much more inclusive-encompassing term. I can certainly identify with joy.

Musings and general thoughts...

The picture is from my trip to the Grand Canyon in July.

It has been a while since I have posted. My 4 days away were great. It was fantastic to see friends, celebrate and revel in the intimacy of my cohort peers. There is a real connection that binds the men and women of the SOT (school of theology). It was great. Interestingly enough, my first couple of days spent I felt alarmingly drawn to what I was missing in Phoenix. I knew that there were several aspects of our current plan and agenda that needed to be dealt with. I certainly knew that they would be worked on (I am just an intern after all), but nonetheless, I did wonder what was happening. As time passed, I felt my life in Phoenix not placing such a level of prominence in my mind anymore. My level of enthusiasm in explaining what I had done certainly waned. By the time Sunday came around, there was not really anything left to say, my level of energy had been drained.

Monday, I went to the B-TOP to work, and when I pulled the jeep into the parking lot there was a HUGE mobile Phoenix police unit parked with a couple of police cars as well. People were milling around the parking lot. My first thought-“Did something happen to one of the workers?” At that point, several of the men came around the corner. They were walking to their cars, and I asked JM what had happened. His response, “They found a body over in the corner of the parking lot, there was a murder.” My heart stopped. The area where the office is located is certainly not the worst location, but there is a lot of activity that could be viewed as sketchy. I asked where F. was (my supervisor from the Union). He was in his truck and I hurried over. “Is it safe for me to stay here and work by myself?” I asked. “Yes,” was the hesitant response, “Why wouldn’t it be?” “Because of the murder!” F. looked around and saw the vehicles and began to laugh. I was ready to go into a tyrad about every person’s human dignity and it finally dawned on me what happened. I turned to look for JM and he was in his car, watching this interplay. I saw the smile on his face, the glee at finally having played a joke on me! I pretended to run after him and he just sped away.

I went into the offices feeling much lighter than when I first started my day out. J (my other supervisor) came in and gave me a hug, with huge statements of how much he missed me. I started a bit of reflection at that point. My enthusiasm had been affected as my time in Minnesota wore on simply because I recognized that my time in Phoenix was closing in on me. To say that I had been affected by my time in Arizona would be an understatement. Transformation is not a word bandied about in the B-Top offices. I have been greatly affected by my time here.

So I have a question, What does transformation look like in your life experiences? How do we as men and women of Christ encounter transformation in the ordinary?

My final week in Phoenix has begun. I anticipate that we will not be doing our final action on Thursday. There seems to be a lot of clergy men and women who are still out of town, and in our letter we stated 10 people would be attending the meeting, and to show up with less would be to discredit the seriousness of this action, the campaign, and the workers issues with this company. It may be done more effectively in September or October.