Wean me from this life, O Lord.

“Wean yourself from this life of expectations; dream yourself into that situation. Wean yourself out of comfort.” ~Fr. Mark Thmert, OSB (Academic Convocation and Matriculation, 9:00 am, August 27, 2008).

I have been craving (wanting does not emphasize the feeling regarding this saying) the time to write on this quote for awhile, but my schedule just continues to get hectic and crazy. The imagery that Fr. Mark used to explain this idea of “weaning” ourselves was of a calf. This struck me specifically because I remember being on my Uncle Jim’s ranch and a pen was built on the lawn because a calf needed to be weaned. The bawling from the calf was incredible, and every once in a while we could hear the heifer bawling back from the corral.
I have been pondering a lot about what I need to be weaned from. I could make a list, it would be extensive, and yet, I still don’t know that the list would be necessary. Let’s just say that my closet is full of clothes, my belly is always filled with nutritious foods, I have a beautifully warm and comfortable bed to sleep in, and have a lot of books, music and varieties of teas to keep me satisfied.
I would say however that I have weaned myself out of comfort for the last two years. I have not been earning a paycheck that allows for mobility that I enjoyed before going back to school, the rigors of academic life have brought their own challenges. I have discussed that enough in previous posts, but needless to say, I stand by my quote from the first week of school-two years ago, “I sure didn’t come to grad school for an ego boost!”
Humility is a virtue that I embrace when I need to, but for the most part, don’t really think too much about. My level of confidence is sometimes misconstrued, and I am for the most part comfortable thinking that the misinterpretation says more about the misinterpreter than it does about me. Yet, I do find myself doing some interior naval gazing to see what the problem could be, “Why would this person say what they said? Don’t they know that the comment was hurtful?” The bottom line, I can wean myself from this thinking. This doesn’t mean that I will not listen to constructive criticism, but, more than being constructive, I will be weaning myself from language that is harmful, (yes, my friends, I will be practicing custody of the tongue-what will I have to say that won’t include a 4 letter word…I don’t know, but I bet it won’t take me to long to find out!) but also, I will be weaning myself from the harsh language of others.