The Trials and Tribulations of a Theologist...

Yes, that is right- I said Theologist. My mouth was working faster than my brain yesterday in class and meant to say Theologian- but out came Theologist! Not my finest moment. C'est la vie.

I feel like I am in a bit of a standstill right now. I am anxiously awaiting and praying about where I will be sent this summer for my internship- and would have like to know yesterday. I have a friend who is involved in a painful situation right now which sends me back to revisit my own past. Yet, there seems to be a major difference in my response today, and what my response was a couple of years ago.

I would say that these situations and my own reactions allow for growth, and might even point to metaphorical allusions of spring--but snow is once again in the forecast for the weekend here in Minnesota. So forget it! I am boycotting until the sun is out once again- and Ican frolick once more in the wood by Lake Sagatagan...

Today I gave the reflection at mid-day prayer. My post this week, is the reflection:
It is based on the pericope John 13:16-20.



“ I am telling you before it happens, so that when it happens you might believe.”

What does it mean to believe? This week, I would venture a guess that many students are believing that this week will never end, and yet, there still is not enough time before they submit their questions and answers for comps. Others believe that I will once again get sucked into the abyss of watching evangelists on television sometimes!

Is belief something like the snow that blanketed our world last week, that was thick, heavy, and quick to melt and saturate the earth with an abundance of moisture? Does belief cover and protect us with the intention of allowing for personal growth? Is the purpose of belief meant to give us time to put words around the metaphors that sometimes seem inadequate?

I decided to come up with a list of belief statements- see what you think, and if you can identify with any of the statements:

I believe very firmly that the 6 hour A &E version of Pride and Prejudice featuring Colin Firth is MUCH better than the 2 hour version!
I believe in the healing power of chocolate and tears.
I believe that the sun will rise tomorrow, after it has set today.
I believe that community relationship demands personal transformation.
I believe that in September Lake Sagatagan will begin to transform again.
I believe that coffee will continue to greet me every morning…when I remember to make it.
I believe …
I believe that my tax refund will not come as soon as I want it.
I believe that my parents will continue to tell me how proud of me they are regardless of how lost or overwhelmed I may feel.
I believe that my friends are the best in the world.
I believe that Harry Potter will over come Voldemort!
I believe …

Is it enough for me to say that I believe? Kathleen Norris, in her book Amazing Grace defines belief as “giving one’s heart to.” Who or to what have I given my heart to that illustrates my belief? I moved from Nebraska to Minnestoa because I believe so firmly in God, and what is being done in the name of God here in the School of Theology. The question then becomes: is reading, writing and studying theology everyday enough to elicit a claim of belief? What does belief lead us to with our work? How do our actions lead us? As a community of believers, dedicated to carrying out the Gospel mission could it really be as simple as:

We believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.

We believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come again to judge the living and the dead.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.
AMEN.

April's eventualities...

Metanoia, change, conversion... what does change mean in my life? How do I experience change? I forget some times about what April signifies in my life. I have come to know so many great and wonderful people in my life. April I find is a time that I seem to be most open to forging new relationships, and also seem most willing to begin to negotiate the hard pace of saying goodbyes. Life will continue to change drastically-yet not uexpectedly however. Kristi, my roommate will graduate and find a fantastic job. Many of the people that I began the degree program with will be graduating as well, Nick, Nick, Jigga, Lauren, Timothy, Paul, Judy, just to name some. These people are all moving on to the next phase and beginning new endevors. It is certainly an exciting time. John Mark, is getting ready to graduate and move to Benini, Africa to begin working for the Peace Corp in July.

Metanoia, change, conversion, these words all bring about the reminder that we as children of God are called to bring about this change. Conversion is to be a part of our daily life. I saw great hope and conversion this week throughout the world as I saw people protesting the cruelties raged against the people of Tibet, and those without power in China. I find all of the protests incredibly inspiring. I find that when I sit back and refuse to allow myself to participate in the life around me, I get stifled, depressed, distracted. When I do participate, I am invigorated, energized, and ready to be the change I demand!

Enjoy the day- enjoy the thoughts- demand the change!

It's April right...not November?

Ok- so Minnesota is in a winter storm warning watch, and the snow is pouring down, and there is also thunder and lightening. The last time I saw this kind of weather was my junior year of college- it was April 1st-Holy Thursday. I took my Shakespeare test that day, and my mentor Fr. Richard was looking over my shoulder as I answered a question incorrectly. He told me to change it and I did. I was mortified. Fr. Richard died that day very unexpectedly.

I think back to that day, and examine the weather around me and often think of the connection between life, and how weather can allude to the happenings of our life.

Christian hope...

What does it mean to be a person of hope? Does hope affect my understanding of Christianity?

I am getting ready to lead a four week conversation (with another grad student)on the meaning of Christian hope. It will be a dialouge based on the papal encyclical Spe Salve (On Christian Hope). For those who don't know me, I tend to be a bit skeptical of our current Holy Father in Rome. I am still deciding how much i "dig" this encyclical. What I do appreciate is the conversations that I have had with others about hope.

It is easy and even a bit superficial to insist that we are "a people of Hope". I use the word superficial, because I am not really sure what that means...I need some more words around that. I know what I imply when I choose to say that I am a person of hope. I mean to imply that regardless of how wretched I feel, of the day that I have had, the sickness in my heart, the ailment of my body, I have been redeemed. I have been saved, I have known true love. Because I have known hope I have known love. Because I have recognized love, I have known hope.

I was telling a friend today that I was at Liturgy yesterday at the abbey, and when Fr. Dale (I think) was elevating the host at the consecration a thought popped into my head. I thought, "In order to truly experience love- true love, I have to be completely vulnerable. In that vulnerability is the insistence or need to prepare for great pain if the relationship does not work." But it is because we are naturally people of hope that we continue to engage and be in relationships (romantic and otherwise) with each other. We also should recognize the role that God plays in the dynamic of relationships with each other.

Hope...it is not just another four letter word.