Ponderings on my way...

My brother is back from overseas. There is a great sense of relief from my family- in my mothers voice there is energy and life again. My father was able to vocally project such vigor and a great sense of enthusiasm that has been missing in the past 6 months. Both did a great job in the time my bro was gone of not being gloomy, but there was a very noted change that I would venture only those closest to them could really gauge and fully hear much less understand. I never really considered before the weight that a missing family member can have on the dynamic of a family. I got an introduction certainly when J. was sent over. It became even more fully noted when my cousin was missing over Christmas and the eventual finding of his body, and the closure with his funeral.

But, I became very aware yesterday as I was waiting for the bus that there is another type or form of missing someone. I am not sure really how to frame this yet, but I have been thinking about it since yesterday. A boy- he must have been around 15 was at the bus stop waiting for the 80 when I joined him and I commented on his scarf. He said thanks, and then proceeded to say how happy he was because his older brother was being released from jail today. All I could think to say was, “You must be so happy!” His smile, which was from ear to ear said everything. The bus came and we never spoke again.

I have kept thinking in the last 24 hours how special our brothers, well, really our siblings are. They are our first friends and our first enemies. They are confidants and tattlers. Siblings are the reminder that no matter what we do in our lives, there is always someone who will take us down a notch when we need to be taken down, and will be our strongest cheerleaders when we need that. We may not always be in communication, in fact we may not even talk to one another as adults, but that will not displace the fact that we shared a very intimate home for at least 9 months, if not longer. That bond cannot be broken. Wars, incarceration, hurt feelings, death cannot take away that connection.