And so it begins...again...

Prayer cannot exist together with hostile feelings. The fruit of prayer is always love. In prayer, even the unprincipled dictator and the vicious torturer can no longer remain the objects of our fear, hatred, and revenge, because when we pray, we stand at the center of the great mystery of divine compassion.”
~Henri Nouwen

Lent began today, and with the ashes that now sit on my forehead comes the weight of the next 40 days. There are those that resent Lent, the act of giving something up does not ring authentically with their understanding of God. I wonder about that. Belief in the divine is not a guarantee that everything will go your way. Rather belief in the divine seems to be a way to get through the pain that sometimes accompanies life. Loss and life. Relationships are broken.

Lent is a time that I try to make sure that my prayer life is attempting to live on a foundation of sturdy stone. It is easy to allow myself to be distracted from the work of prayer as well. I find many reasons to wash and polish the floor rather than to spend the time needed to ensure that prayer is perfect. In a conversation today I was reminded yet again that my life is not a call to perfection, rather it is a call. That is all. My response to the call is how I choose to be in relationship with the divine.

It is because of the reality of prayer, the struggle sometimes to pray that I am reminded that I must in turn love from my prayer. My broken relationships are a challenge to remember that I am called to authentic love and also heartbreak with humanity.

Lent is the time to remove myself from the sin of omission in life- the refusal to participate from being with others because I am tired, because I don’t want to be doing anything. Lent is a time to get down to the business of loving others, and most of all, myself. Lent is a challenging time for me~I don’t know about anyone else…