Saturated in Chrism

Chrism (Greek word literally meaning "an anointing"), also called "Myrrh" (Myron). Pure or scented olive oil, although typically not called chrism today, has been called chrism in the past, including oil used in some forms of Baptism, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick and foot washing.

I find it fascinating when I am suffering from some kind of broken relationship, a friend or lover I start to feel myself shriveling. I start to shrink and loose my elasticity. It is obviously a defense mechanism, but defense from what? In any relationship (I will be using the inclusive we pronoun as I don’t think I am the only person who finds this true of their self) we put ourselves out there. We spend time with our new interest- platonic or erotic and expend energy determining what aspects of our self we will share, how much and how often.

What happens though when the relationship ends?—When your friend moves away (to Benin for instance) or you decided your lover wasn’t just right? Do you find it hard to trust? Certainly there is an initial pain and frustration, promises to yourself to do things differently, self-talk to remind yourself that you are loveable, good and worth the best that God has in store. Once that is done and the weight of time is pressing on you, then what do you do?

I have noticed a trend in myself to become a bit brittle, sharp and hard to deal with. I don’t stay that way- but that is my initial reaction. My response though when I take the time to look further, is to want chrism oil. I want to be saturated, redeemed through my sacraments again. The Sacraments are some of my first loving welcome and embraces into my Christian community. I was saturated in a sign of the cross made on my head. It was of chrism-myrrh-perfumed oil when I was baptized and again at the confirmation of the seal. There is a sense of healing for me in remembering such moments (even the ones I don’t recall). The other time that oil is used in our church is for the welcoming of others into the church (again Baptism or Confirmation) or the anointing of the sick.

Are we not all sick at heart and in need of anointing when we see a relationship end? I suppose in that regard it is sensible to crave such a tangible expression of the reality of God’s grace. When all we should want and desire in life is right relationship with one another—to be a full, live, embodied expression of God’s love visible in the world, we can still fail. We choose to deny relationship to others, or they choose to deny us. Either way, relationship is broken.
So, I find solace in knowing that through the signs and expressions of my home community, my universal church that the prayers of the church are reaching beyond my grief, are opening their care and love to encourage me to heal, to saturate myself in the reality of God’s care and love of me. I have been created in the image and likeness, why not cherish the very full reality of God in me?

Reality check and time to check back in…

It has obviously been several months since my last contribution. There are several reasons for such an oversight. It was travel season at my job- I have been gone most weekends visiting different parishes and speaking at liturgies about mission. I have found that to be a very rewarding facet of my current position. There is something very tangible about being connected in a parish, seeing babies come in and out of church. Watching families, single people waltz in and out of the doors of a sanctuary. There is a sense of security in recognizing that while time marches on, it does not change the consistency in which people attempt to communicate with the Divine- whatever they know the Divine to be.

So travel season, for the most part is complete. I still have other small trips to take- comp days to catch up on, etc. But for the most part- I get to be a homebody and am able to still take in the beautiful surroundings of the city I live in and to which I belong.

Currently- I am a registered DC voter and resident!!! Praise Jesus!
I am looking into Doctoral programs or another Masters of some kind (more on that later).

I have visited several states over the last year and am closing the gap on places to visit…Louisiana (3 x) Chicago (3 x) Wisconsin, Minnesota, Nebraska, Iowa, New Jersey (2 x), New York, Delaware, Pennsylvania (6 x), West Virginia, California, Texas, New Mexico, (this list does not include the layovers from said trips either!- that would be like another 15 states at least!!!!)
Relationships have changed…my sister lived with me for part of the summer. That was not a part of the original plan and people were surprised when I shared plan A with them. My typical response was, “Well, we tried living together once for, like, 18 years and someone almost died. My dad!” Of course they laugh and of course I jest (kind of), but while it was trying to have K. in the small one room apartment converted into a two bedroom apartment, her and I sharing a room, I feel that for the most part, we did pretty well. Granted I was gone most weekends, but it was lovely to have my sister as a part of my daily life.

That is my life for the past several months. I feel like I am still processing my trip to Guatemala, our country is still struggling to welcome those who are seeking refuge in our borders, and I am still continuing to figure out what my reality looks like. I, in my attempt to figure this out, plan to be disciplined in my blogging.