Joseph...

Winter has finally made it to my soul. That is not a depressing comment (when the wind howls in my mind then we can be worried). Growing up on the plains of Nebraska, we had mountains on one side- about 275 miles away so there was not a lot of protection from the Rockies. When winter would blow in, there was snow for days. I remember it snowing on my birthday one year-late September. I also remember it snowing on my first Holy Communion- the last week of April.

I miss the snow in DC- though from what I hear it is a good thing that it does not come often here as people have struggles with driving and snow. But the chill and crisp air of snow and winter is something that I sorely miss. There was always something about the fact that walking outside at times could literally take your breath away. Once I would make it to my car, I could see about the snow, was there any new stuff? Did the plow try to block me in a driveway?

The season of Advent is supposed to be filled with anticipation. I get tastes and flavors of anticipation everyday, it comes with the responsibility of being one of the most impatient people I know. But last year as I watched one of my nearest and dearest struggle with her husband to get pregnant, there was a tinge of bittersweet mixed in with my advent. They had been trying for some time. It was finals week of the fall semester and L leaned over in a class and told me she hadn’t been feeling well, and I smiled and said, “Hmmm.” Her response was, “Yeah right!” As we were in the middle of Christology I think she referred to something about her prosopon, which a year ago I knew what that meant and laughed, but now I can’t recall. Anyways, the point is that I watched her and F struggle with trying to reconcile what they wanted for themselves as a couple and what God wanted for them. I sat with her in her tears, and wept by myself and prayed. I remember feeling so helpless- there is nothing I could do, except what I was, and an occasional trip to the Local Blend- the local coffee shop who had come to know both of us well over those three years.

As I was writing this, I began to wonder, is this what Joseph went through? Watching someone he love struggle so heart wrenchingly to answer a call? Mary’s motherhood was a part of her vocation as much as L’s is (Baby S is now 4 months!!) Joseph was an amazing man- yet he sometimes comes across as the “off-handed afore-mentioned man who shall not be named”. I guess that is what happens sometimes. When we work towards something that really isn’t ours to begin with. We have to be willing to accept that there is nothing to tie us to this endeavor. I believe that the next time and last time Joseph is mentioned in the Gospel stories is when Jesus is lost in the temple. His parents claim their excitement and worry, and Jesus’ response is to sass back (oh to be 12 again!). I have yet to meet little S, so it seems that my advent has been since August. I tried to get there right after his birth, but it was too soon to see him, and now it looks like January will be when Christmas will finally come for me- and as it will be in MN- I hope that there will be snow!