The Lord really is my shepherd. I believe this with my whole being. But (did you see that one coming? Yeah, me too!), I know that I am not a very good sheep. This post is not about how much of an individual I am, and ways that I can continue to be an individual within a community.
Rather, I was on retreat this last weekend. I went with two wonderful women, L and D (incidentally, I am G). We were lucky enough- graced, blessed enough to go to a cabin on the North Shore of Lake Superior about 20 miles from Duluth, MN. I took a book with me, The Way of the Heart- By Henri Nouwen. It was wonderful! The book focuses on the wisdom of the Desert Fathers and how these ancient minds approached a life of Christianity within their own modern societies. Fr. Nouwen finds three separate ways to begin this process, Solitude, Silence and Prayer.
Solitude-well, I am not very good at this, but this section of the book made me call into account a previous retreat experience. I went on a silent retreat last summer. I left after two days, instead of staying for my expected 4. I left for several reasons, most of which I related to my personal health. I was sick- and I had been struck with a couple of severe headaches. As I am not much of a pill popper it speaks to the severity of the situation that I would have been relived to have taken some Advil! Fr. Nouwen through the book spoke about the need to give into these moments. When there is not a phone to answer, a computer to tap, tap, tap away on, or an iPod to listen to- when there is just my thoughts, and myself it is no wonder that the rushing silence was deafening! So now the question I have to pose to myself is, can I do the retreat again, fully giving over to the drama of the moments, the silence, and accept the hard work that comes from a personal/private retreat?
The third section of the book was on prayer. This part served as a great reminder to me! There was a several paragraph conversation about how we as a people need to move beyond the thoughts of “ I need to pray” and to do it! Yes, I know that this is not anything new, but I pondered about this. D is trying to become a certified Natural Family Planning trainer. We began a discussion about the several different NFP methods, and one requires that a woman take her temperature before she even gets out of bed. So, then I wondered about taking my “spiritual/prayer” temperature before I got out of bed every morning. I usually remember to end my day with prayer- and you better believe that I remember to eat my evening meal- along with my morning and noon meals as well.
How does it become a continued part of our daily life and structure that prayer remains something to which we attain-strive for? Henri Nouwen suggests it is as simple as just saying, “The Lord is my shepherd,” over and over throughout our day, and before long, that sentiment is buried within our hearts.
2 comments:
"I know I am not a very good sheep." This line resonates with me. It makes me smile because it's so you, yet so me. How very relational and anamnetic and--I daresay--eucharistic!!! :-D
i love the idea of taking our spiritual temperature as we begin and end the day. i certainly focus enough on my physical health to do these check-ins - my spiritual health is just as important, if not more so!
and it's yet another example of the fruits of our shared wisdom - did you ever expect you'd be having such a conversation on our drive back?? hahaha
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