Scriptures....

2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have past away; behold, all things have become new.”

I am staying the weekend two blocks from my apartment, at a Franciscan Monastery. In the room there is a really corny picture with this scripture below. I was getting ready this morning and read it, and it kept coming back to me through my day. I was spending time at breakfast, visiting with people and moving through my day and enjoying my evening with this quote racing through my head. I began to examine all of the new creations my life has taken on in the last five years. I have moved several times to ensure a better placement in my life for me, ongoing formation, and made several friends whom I would call close.

There are times when I am terrified of new- but as in all things, my Mom would call it my impulsive nature- I jump in, and then make the most of the situation I am in. This has served me in the past to an extent, and continues to be a general operating mode. Sometimes I think I make the most of these decisions when others are still processing, and I proceed forward to embrace what I believe is my call and people are still hopping aboard the Mougey express. What has changed my process recently is my own discernment process. Regardless of my extroverted nature- I process interiorly rather quickly, frame my thoughts with others to gauge the authenticity of God’s call in my life.

What does it mean to be a new creation founded in Christ? Christ suffered and died for all. Our own old life is sent away and redeemed through our life and dedication to all that is new. Life continues to move forward into a new existence. Relationships change and take on new meaning when the old understandings are put behind they are challenged to become new. There is a balance that much be achieved. Obviously balance is an idea or ideal that I continue to incorporate in my daily life, sometimes I do better than others.

I believe that this seeking of balance is one of the main reasons I have been attracted to Benedictine spirituality through my life. There is always a need for me to understand the yin and yang of life, of crossing lines that are terrifying, of embracing gifts when they are truly free. I think that there is a lot for me to continue to explore about balance, but there are moments of pure delight when I think I may see it beyond the horizon. Those are the days when I recognize the new creation of Christ within me. Old past hurts and decisions are abated and tenderness of an all embracing God surround me and challenge me to love and live in authenticity.

I am able to keep the promise I made to myself last year. I will be traveling to Fort Benning Georgia again this year to take part in the 20th annual SOA vigil. I will be able to meet new friends and those dear to me at this vigil- though my one sadness is that my brother will not be there as he is currently stationed abroad. I will be praying for him, all who are currently serving in any military and for peace. It will continue to be a deliberate endeavor on my part.

Dynamics...

What happens when relationships change? What happens when dynamics and new ideas replace older more staid understandings of life? These are just some of the questions I am wrestling with right now. Having moved such a significant distance away from people I love and have grown to know in very specific ways I wonder what implications that leaves for our own ways of interacting with others. Does it make us braver? Does it ensure that we approach new aspects the same old way? I don’t know that I have the answers to any of these questions aso much as I am still wringing them around in my head.

Even with all the changes in the last four months, my constant has been to always be engaged and moving in a reality of transformation. What that transformation will look like, I don’t know, but I do know that I am called to be open. I am called to respond, it is my yes that I must attend to. It is with that in mind that I am so excited to go to the 20th annual SOA Vigil. For those who know me, it is a significant part of my understanding of peace, involvement and transformation. I hope to see my friends there.

Catholicism at its Best:

I was at the Roosevelt Memorial and was struck by how moving these words were, and how they are able to resonate even today!
The life of a Catholic person who is attempting to be deliberate, who is attempting to be peaceful is sometimes tricky. Yet, that is what it means to be Catholic- right- to be based in a universal mindset- to be able to engage the "both/and" to move beyond an "either/or" mind set. That is the trick

I went to an event here in DC at one of the Catholic Worker houses with my new good friends, Molly and her beau Tobias (both very lovely people). We were watching the new documentary Rethink Afghanistan. It was a good movie, which had a good premise and had filmed some intense footage and made some good points in the movie. I found a couple of the points troubling however. Let me share them now…
• While I do believe that President Obama has made some campaign promises, I do believe that it would be prudent to allow the man some time to attend to some of the promises he made. In this video the producers seemed to be blaming President Obama for the fact that the US is currently involved in a war in the Middle East. What I find disturbing is that the US has been involved in this war for the last 7-8 years. I would venture to say that it was the agenda of the previous administration that took the US into a war mentality and promoted an agenda of war.
• There was also a person who took part in the discussion whom I found to be violently non-violent. This person’s voice trembled with anger when they spoke, there was such an edge of bitterness and an absolutist tone of finality in speech. I really began to wonder about the ability to compromise. This is a tricky spot I know- I am not pro-war, I do not believe in violence in any shape and try so very hard not to live a life in which reflects this strong stance. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed. What I do find imperatives though, is the need to ensure that there is always room for dialogue. I find that this best takes place when a person is open and has an ability to bring about informed discussion (I struggle with that piece as well).
So, with those points in mind I could not help but to think about a man whom I know very well. We lived together or 18 years who is currently stationed in Iraq. I do not believe that he is misguided, I do not believe that he is trying to harm people. I believe that he is doing what he thinks is best to be of service to men and women and children in this world. Do I agree with his methodology-no, but I appreciate his determination to be of service. Happy birthday Joel- I love you!a

ReFeshing and ReFurbishing

My time in DC has been filled with much for me to contemplate. With a month gone- I have been a bit overwhelmed, nervous, upset, and somewhat happy. Overall I forgot that I was in the midst of huge upheaval and transition. I was overwhelmed by all of these “things” these emotions and thought I was going crazy to an extent. Things were not/ are not perfect like they were in Minnesota. I had friends there that I had solid relationships with. I was able to be outside when it was dark and not be nervous that I was by myself. I didn’t have to worry about whether I had locked the door in St. Joe- much less double lock the doors. There is much to adjust to, and I need to remember to allow myself the time to adjust as necessary.


This last weekend for me was amazing! I was able to participate in a retreat that was focusing on the integration of mind, body, and the spirit-which for those who don’t know was the focus of my integration seminar. There were four presentations throughout the weekend, in addition to time to spend by myself, outside, in solitude and also with some of the other retreat participants. It was great! The director of the retreat works at the same place that I do, and after the retreat he took me to the Billy Goat Trail which is a trail that follows the Potomac River. We walked on the Maryland side of the river. It was glorious- outside of the fact that my ankle started to bother me. The pictures are from my trip with Tom on the trail- as he said in the email- it is a bit hard to believe that it was only half an hour from D.C.


I remembered several things during my retreat. I remembered that I love to walk- whether it is around a neighborhood, or on a track. So now, after work I am going to try to walk every day for an hour. It will allow for some sustained exercise in addition to great outdoor activity while keeping me away from digital cable. I also remembered how much I love to write- poetry-journaling- notetaking- anything that requires that I put pen to paper. It is a beautiful and creative expression that I enjoy fully!


My work is starting to take off. I am getting ready to go on the road- I will be speaking to a parish in Pennsylvania in October. I am hoping that will give me some of the pastoral work I need to be involved with, be it outreach or sacramental prep. Most of my work is administrative, but I am looking forward to the time when I will be able to be as creative as I can be and find the work as fulfilling as I would like it to be.

Moving on...

Life if DC…

Well, I have been here in the nation’s capitol for about two weeks now. My work has been very busy and very fulfilling for these last two weeks. I anticipate that it will continue to be such.
My first week was pretty much a whirlwind in that I arrived on the 16th. The woman that I am living with-Sr. Sharon picked me up at the airport. I settled into my living quarters that first night rather quickly, it was a good thing too, because I began work at 9 that Monday morning. Whew!!!

I participated in a few activities throughout the week, but really didn’t venture too far away from the apartment during the evenings simply because I wanted to make sure that I had a rudimentary understanding of the area before I ventured too far. Friday of my first week was pretty unusual because one of my instructor’s was being sworn in as the new ambassador to the Holy See. It was a wonderful celebration and incredible day to participate. I met lots of wonderful people and did some great networking for my job. Saturday I went to several memorials on the mall with a group from the swearing-in. That night I went to my cousins new home in south east DC. The last week was much more subdued, and I was able to “relax” a bit more into my new job.
The biggest adjustment for me is the humidity. I have never lived in a place where I felt that humidity was sooo oppressive. It seems like the humidity is about 85% if not higher! I am able to walk to work which is really nice, it is a one mile walk each way- so it takes around 15-20 minutes depending on when I hit the traffic lights.

I have kind of been feeling a bit out of sorts, more to do with the need to set up a routine of spiritual formation- I am really missing spiritual direction, and REALLY missing my spiritual companioning group and the theological reflection. I am hoping to make some connections in the next couple weeks to reestablish those habits and to have the practices in place here in DC. One of the really amazing parts of my job is that I am able to attend daily liturgy at the Paulist Center.

This week promises to keep the pace of the previous two- with the exception that I continue to grow more and more confident in my place here in DC.

Time is moving at a pace...

Complacency…
My time since graduation has been a bit tumultuous to say the least. For those who don’t know, I am no longer going to Africa at this time. Due to events in my past it was discerned that it would not be good for me to be by myself for such a project with no support system. While I agree with the decision, I have spent some time grieving this loss as well. Yet I feel that this is the beauty of the discernment process. If God has nothing but my best interests at heart, then I am more than willing to defer to the goodness and protection of “my rock and my refuge”.

Having said that, there have been some exciting movements as well. I am in the middle of a “big job hunt” now. With this current discernment I am looking for jobs that will support and uphold my decision to “be in mission” in some aspect. I continue to marvel at how I view mission and the notion of global solidarity in a very different way at this point in my life. I have a deep desire to continue to make global solidarity and mission a life forming focus.

I have struggled with complacency in the last month and a half. I have developed some poor habits in the short time away from a regimented schedule of academia. I am hopeful that I can invest in a more deliberate life away from TV (I apparently felt the need to catch up on three missed years of TV watching in one month), and place myself back in the form of prayer, reading, light movie watching, and good conversations with friends and tea-time with myself.

Some of the big moments so far this summer have been:
• The wedding- my older sister was married in June. I was able to see my entire family-including my brother who will be sent overseas in August. My parents and sister went to the Holocaust Museum the day of the shooting. It was an event-filled week.
• I celebrated the 4th of July in Duluth, MN with great friends (essentially my other family). Josh and Star are some of my best friends- it is always wonderful to connect with them and to see Josh’s family!
• I also reconnected with an instructor from my first summer at the SOT. It was wonderful to visit with her again and “catch up”. She is so insightful and energizing. She reminded me of the need to write. As this also just came up in a spiritual direction session I think God is “beating me upside the head with a bouquet of flowers”.
• I also got to visit with some dear friends in the last couple of months- John Mark and I spent last weekend together at a family wedding for his family—LOVELY!!
• I went to the rodeo a couple weekends ago with a group of other friends- and since I had the most “rodeo experience” I somehow ended up as the “resident expert” explaining events and the goals of each event-(this is proof of God’s incredible sense of humor) It was a great time nonetheless!!!
• I went to Chicago for a regional conference and was able to meet up with “old” friends and make new connections! What a full summer so far!!

So my thoughts for the summer are to continue to find a full regiment for my life, integrating prayer, personal writing, blogging, and friends into a life of deep personal contentment. Blessings on your day!

Summer Cleaning

Psalm 51:1-13
Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.
Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.
For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.

Against you alone have I sinned; I have done such evil in your sight That you are just in your sentence, blameless when you condemn.

True, I was born guilty, a sinner, even as my mother conceived me.
Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.
Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure; wash me, make me whiter than snow.

Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Turn away your face from my sins; blot out all my guilt.

A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit.
Do not drive me from your presence, nor take from me your holy spirit.
Restore my joy in your salvation; sustain in me a willing spirit.



I was reading this psalm this morning before beginning my day at work- and I was reminded how vividly God calls each of us to our relationship with one another and with God. Right relationship is a major theme in the Old Testament. The Israelites struggled with their relationship with God over and over. I have been struggling in the last couple of months in my relationship with God. I had moved away from thinking of my relationship with God as I would any other relationship. My relationships take time, investment, curiosity, generosity, kindness, and selflessness. God asks all of this and more every day. Some day’s I can be the person God is asking of me, some day’s I fall short. Most often, I find myself somewhere in between.

I spent the first part of my week with a man who is amazing to me. I am reminded over and over when I am in his presence what a treat it is to be in right relationship with others. I see God in his eyes, the compassion, tenderness and genuine concern that he shows to others is wonderful, but also a treat to receive. Through our conversations we discussed the very intimate nature of right relationships, and Psalm 51 was a refrain that was playing over and over in my mind. What a gift.

What are the gifts of right relationship that you find in your life today?
Is there a person who exhibits right relationship to you?