Reflection...

I wrote this reflection to share at our Thursday morning prayer. Due to a mix-up someone else preached. I had already prepared this reflection and figured I would post it on the blog anyways.

Matthew 7:1-8
1 "Stop judging, that you may not be judged.
2 For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. 3 Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove that splinter from your eye,' while the wooden beam is in your eye? 5 You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye. 6 "Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces. 7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.


As has happened in many of my relationships with others, since I have been attending school at St. John’s I have become the unofficial spokesperson for all things Catholic and theological. Any time a statement is issued I am able to guarantee an influx of calls from family and friends wanting me to explain certain aspects of the statement. Questions are a good thing- they are beneficial to our development and understanding of humanity. The hard part is figuring out what the answer is. But it seems to me that the easiest way to answer questions about theology is to direct the questioner to a book that will provide one argument for one point of the question. I really don’t like this, in fact I readily state, “The last thing I need is one more book to read!” (please take note that I am a book-a-phile!)

I was taken aback with how a conversation progressed. It was in the middle of a conversation on Sunday with one of my best friends and he was asking me some questions about Catholicism. As a former Catholic himself he knew how to spin certain parts of the Catholic tradition to make it ridiculous to make his point. (Please remember that I have no problem pointing out what I find ridiculous-but Josh can take this to a new level!) In order to make my point, I uttered some words that I don’t know I would have said three years ago. I said, “Josh, there is a great book that you should read!”. His response was to say in exasperation, “Why is it that whenever I ask you a question you always tell me to read a book?” Well, what a rude awakening!
Talk about needing to remove a forest from my eyes!!!!

This is one of the most difficult parts of the Christian message for me. The daily living- or calling out to attend to my own struggles is hardest for me. I am not perfect and readily recognize this fact- but I do like to think that I am aware of my statements!

The last two verses about knocking, asking, receiving have never really struck me as Lenten verses. But as I continued to meditate on this scripture- I began to wonder what would happen to people who claim to be Christians if they asked for the courage to be honest with themselves? That is really the claim in the reading- we need to be honest about how we are, how we interact with others- and not just the people that we know- or those that build us up. We need to be honest enough to be with those that we find challenging, those that don’t always build us up-or those that we struggle to build up.

walking...

The white is startling right now. I spent the morning and early afternoon at a retreat, and it got up to 40 today so I decided to spend some time outside. I was an absolutely gorgeous day!!! I wanted to make sure that I walked on the lake- Lake Sagatagan at some point this winter. I ventured out there for the first time first semester of the 2007. My friend Laura went with me. This year my friend Natalie went. We had a great time. It was amazing to venture out across the lake, to walk where just four to five months ago I had swam in the crisp cool refreshing water.

There is a good thick ice right now. But, we couldn’t really get a clear view of the ice except for where the ice fishers had been. There is so much snow over every inch of the lake. It is gorgeous.

We walked across the lake to the Chapel of Stella Maris. One picture show the chapel, and the other is of the main stain glass window. It is a hidden treasure. During the other three months, it is a good trek (not really a walk, but less intense than a hike) through the dense forest to get to the chapel.

The retreat focused on the idea that we are ministers in transition. We (those who atteneded) are getting ready to graduate with our degrees, and hoping to go out and face the world, the depth of looking for ministry in many different avenues and hoping to embody the message of Christ and his justice.

stuck in a rut...

This picture exemplifies for me the lived reality of ruts in minnesota- out of snow!!! i took the picture last winter when a friend and I decided to walk across the frozen lake- I will be doing that again tomorrow!

I have generally been fascinated by the definitions or meanings that we give out to words. Rut is a word that I have been thinking about for several days- I am in a bit of a rut right now. But, when I think about rut, I tend to think about a ditch, or some such location- on the side of the road… it is not typical for me to associate a rut with my current life. Yet, here I am.

In doing my own reflection I recognize how very inept I am at appreciating the gifts that I have in my life currently, what I recognize as true movement, and how to embrace such existence. I was reading a journal in which a man was describing his conversation with a friend. His friend was deliberately living off the grid- not making enough money to pay taxes and other such things. He greatly opposed war and so made the decision that the money he would have spent on taxes would then go to peace keeping efforts throughout the world. He viewed this as vocation! His friend who was writing the article asked him how he felt when he would notice that none of his efforts would make a difference. It seemed like a waste- he had been living this way for 20+ years. His response to his friend was that he was not called to critique the movement, but to be authentic to his call. Well, for those that now me, that was enough to stop me in my tracks.

How have I been authentic to my call? What have I done that is consistent with who I am and what I want to do in my life? As I near graduation, I truly find myself curious about which direction my life will take. And yet, having read this blurb in the journal- I wonder if it really matters so long as I am authentic to my call, to my vocation- to who I am as a woman, engaged in matters of this world! What do I need to do to ensure that all is going to be done to motivate myself away from the rut of complacency and into the life of movement.